Itâs happening, at last!
The long overdue photo album is getting worked on! I had intended it as a gift when my firstborn graduated from high schoolâŚthen thought maybe I would get it done by the time he got marriedâŚor at least by the time his firstborn came along?
Well, eleven years have passed since that first goal vanished from sight. And now there are four little likenesses of my son under his roof. It is time for this album to make its way into their hands, for them to see their daddy when he was their agesâŚ
At 18 monthsâŚ
At 3 yearsâŚ
And at 4 1/2 yearsâŚ
He was once a child and he has grown to be a man with children of his own. I am reliving this week many mothering memories. Both precious and a little painful.
I was once a young imperfect mom intent on raising perfect children while largely in denial of my own imperfections. I cringe now at the values I once clung to.
Being perfect seemed more valuable than experiencing forgiveness.
Being âgoodâ seemed a rational goal. But now I wonder, is it so much about being âgoodâ, or about knowing you are not so very good, but you are cherished just as you are?
Too often I sacrificed relationship in the pursuit of performance.
I aimed at perfection instead of recognizing we are and ever will be imperfect and indebted to Grace.
It is a wise mom who realizes the parameters of her calling. Some objectives are beyond our controlâfor instance, the objective of producing godly children. That is our desire but is it our calling? If your brow is furrowing at this moment consider reading this article by an empty nester mom I have not met named Gina Smith.
âI Was Never Called to Raise âGodly Children!â
Her point is that godliness is not a goal we can accomplish by any amount of good parenting, character training, discipline or a dozen other routes. We are dependent on Godâs grace to intervene and change hearts. We might make them behave; we might enforce rules but we canât create godly children. Only God can do that.
As I brood over pictures and journal entries written years ago on the front lines of a busy household, I wonder, was I wanting to rear Pharisees or Publicans? The Pharisee could stand and thank God he was not a common sinner; he was âgoodâ. I bet his kids knew how to sit still in church too! But it was the Publican whom God heard. He knew himself to be an unworthy sinner and cried, âGod, be merciful to me a sinnerâ. He was the one who went back home forgiven. (Luke 18:9ff)
Did I want my kids to comprehend grace or be good enough not to need it?
Unintentionally we may produce âgoodâ kids with proud hearts instead of pointing them to Godâs goodness so they can be forever humbled and forgiven people.
Do we strive to build character at the expense of laying the foundational understanding that our goodness is filthy rags apart from the Spiritâs transformation of our hearts and motives?
I am now an old imperfect mom–a converted Pharisee, recognizing more and more my actual indebtedness to Godâs grace. I am grateful for a long-suffering God who doesnât strike the Pharisee dead for his presumption. And as I stick down pictures of this lad with the perpetual grin and endless energy, Iâm grateful for the strong Redeemer we both have found. The Lord of Hosts is His name. (Jer.50:34) He is not bound by our mistakes. He is not limited by our weakness. And His Redemption rolls on down through the years exchanging our messes for His grace. Yes, this is what I want this photo album to celebrate. God has been good to us, for He is good.
And with these loosely outlined thoughts I must conclude for now. For you see, this album is not quite finished and tomorrow we leave to bear it to little eyes who will wonder that their hero could once have been as young as they⌠So for today, this album is my calling as a Grandmom!
I welcome your feedback always.
–LS
âNot by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit, says the LORD of hostsâŚ.And he shall bring forward the top stone amid shouts of âGrace, grace to it!ââ (Zech.4:6,7)
Unless the LORD builds the house, those who build it labor in vainâŚ
It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep.
Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Ps.127:1-3 ESV
âWe have had earthly fathers who disciplined usâŚfor a short time as it seemed best to them*, but [the Father of spirits] disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness.â Heb.12:9,10
*There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death. Prov. 14:12 ESV
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P.S. If you come from my era you may appreciate this upbeat reminder that âNobodyâs perfect except for the Lordâ , as only Keith Green can say it!