Postponing Joy till I am fully satisfied…

UPCYCLED Posts

“When I awake, I will be fully satisfied,
for I will see you face to face.”
Ps.17:15

Fully satisfied. I read the words with a deep sigh.  Satisfaction is an elusive commodity.  We are designed to find it in relationship with our Creator, but even then, as long as we’re earth-bound, there is a sense of distance, of incompleteness. But JOY is a commodity for the here and now, a by-product of God’s Holy Spirit at work within those who have believed on Jesus to bridge the gap to God–“whom having not seen you love. Though now you do not see Him yet believing, you rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory…” I Pet.1:8 NKJV

A few years back I was thinking about my own lack of joy and asked this question:

What unfulfilled wants hinder me from being fully satisfied with God and worshiping Him with a joyful heart? In other words: What excuses do I make for postponing joy?

It was as if I had made joy contingent on being fully satisfied in this lifetime with my own list of essentials.  This led to a cross-examination of my beliefs about ‘effective’ prayer, and a look at Hezekiah’s story as well as a mini book review of A Praying Life. I invite you to join me for these upcycled ponderings ( :

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I’ve been thinking about my strategy for getting what I want—prayer. And I’m asking myself just how long I am going to postpone joy…Until when?

Until my will is done, my kingdom come?…

Until the accuser is silenced and I no longer have to live with his taunts: “what if your God does not come through”?!…

Until faith is sight and what I long to see is in hand?

Just how long will I postpone joy? For as I do I declare that God’s promises are not enough, His love is insufficient, and His present work is substandard… Who am I going to trust if not Him? Shall I trust my own efforts to somehow do something that will work? Or am I operating on the premise that someday I will come up with the ‘right’ prayer, the magic bullet that will convince God to act posthaste? If only I could learn to pray more… fluently? more ‘spiritually’? more persuasively? more consistently! More what?!

I read the Lord’s Prayer, my model. It does not sound like a marshaling of all my bravado to storm heaven’s gates or to vanquish the foe with powerful mantras. It’s quite simple really… Our Father, let your name be made much of and your will done without exception and without objection in everything that concerns me…and give me what I need to live today, forgiveness most of all and grace to do it like You do…and come to my rescue when I’m tempted. Keep me out of the Evil One’s net, because You are the all-powerful, all glorious King for now and always… In fact it doesn’t even sound like it’s about my ‘power in prayer’ at all, but about relinquishing my will to His, daily submitting my needs to Him for whatever provision He wishes to make and just keeping my sights set on who He is, my Father and the Almighty King!

I get confused about this sometimes. Lots of times. Until I find I am doing little more than chewing the fingernails of my soul in restless unease. I become obsessed with ‘my part’ in dispatching duties that have spiraled beyond my know-how and can-do. There are too many loose ends, unmet ideals, broken pieces, looming disasters. And I can’t handle it. I pray, but in distracted, distrustful, poorly composed little bursts that sound more like ‘oh dear, oh dear, oh dear’, than ‘Father, you are great and you are good and I thank you for Your loving oversight of all that concerns me.’

Meanwhile, praise is non-existent, thanks is meager and joy is postponed. What then is left? Condemnation, guilt, temptation to distraction—be it a chocolate bar or a good book—and avoidance of further failure by withdrawing from present opportunity. And of course, anxiety, cloaked as ‘godly concern’, mind you; but recognizable by the unease that it generates—the opposite of rest.

My sister reminded this week of a winsome book on prayer called, A Praying Life. I actually discovered it last summer to my relief and refreshment. I had even written a review and tucked in some ‘best of’ quotes. And I had resolved that my prayer life would be different, better, more practical, more real… But something has slipped.

Here I am again. Obsessed by what I can’t change. Driven to ‘do something’. Desperate to ‘make prayer work’… and repenting of my dogged determination to have what I want now, to see before I believe, to distrust the One who holds everything in absolute control and manages all my concerns with loving intention… I am loathe to take my eyes off the situations that alarm me but there is no effective prayer until this is done. As long as I focus on the problems I will hear the enemy’s taunts instead of God’s assurances and I will have wobbly knees and quailing heart.

I’ve been reading about Hezekiah, in novel form and in the Bible. The Assyrians were coming. They were utterly fierce and unfeeling enemies. They were powerful, unsurpassed in strength. They trashed every nation they assaulted. They never lost. And they were coming to destroy Hezekiah’s nation, just as they had the northern Kingdom of Israel. He had done nothing ‘deserving’ this. In fact he was well along in reforming the Kingdom of Judah, ridding the land of idols and returning the people to Temple worship of the one true God. And then ‘after these things and these acts of faithfulness’ wicked Sennacherib of Assyria is invading. He taunts Hezekiah saying: “On what do you rest this trust of yours?” (Is.36:4) “Do not let your God in whom you trust deceive you by promising that Jerusalem will not be given into the hand of the king of Assyria.”Is.37:10

And when he can’t unnerve the king he resorts to using propaganda to demoralize the people: “Do not let Hezekiah make you trust in the LORD by saying, ‘The Lord will surely deliver us’…. Make your peace with me and come out to me.” (Is.36:15,16) What’s a king to do? What am I to do when my enemy taunts and tempts me to doubt God’s care?

Hezekiah’s was a terrifying prospect! (Read Austin’s historical fiction: Song of Redemption if you need help imagining it!) Normally a king would call for reinforcements, allies, HELP from somewhere, but Hezekiah prayed very matter-of- factly and was instructed not to be afraid but to wait and see what God would do (Is.37) How easy is that? Not very.  It’s kind of like: ‘In the world you will have tribulation but be of good cheer. I have overcome the world’. Good cheer? But, but…

But what’s wonderful about this story is that Hezekiah actually listens to Isaiah’s message from God and he in turn is able to strengthen the people to have courage: “With him is an arm of flesh, but with us is the Lord our God, to help us and to fight our battles.” (II Chr.32:8) And God goes to bat for them and the Assyrian army wakes up dead. Well, a whole pile of them do. The rest go home! (Is.37:36-38)

That’s how I want to respond in the face of fear– not terrorized beyond usefulness but confidently presenting my petitions to God, listening for His direction, and waiting with expectation for what He will do. Then the battle is his, not mine. And then joy need not be postponed.

“Behold, this is our God;
we have waited for Him, that He might save us.
This is the LORD, we have waited for Him;
Let us be glad and rejoice in His salvation.” Is.25:9

Paul Miller outlines in his book that if prayer is going to be a living connection with God we’re going to have to be honest with Him about where we are in our thinking. No pretending. He gives a peek into his own prayer time on one occasion:

“I am not confident of your deliverance.”

“Until you do save us, give me the faith to wait.”

“My inability to wait on you comes from thinking salvation comes from me…”* (Miller,255)

And I see myself reflected in his words. But I also find that God knows what I need to hear. These are some of His words to my heart this week. How can I keep postponing joy?

Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. Jn.15:5

As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. Jn.15:9

These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full. Jn.15:11

You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you. Jn.15:16

God calls me to joy. He invites me to abide in His love. He guarantees the flow of sap as long as I stay connected. He invites me to ask and see what He will do. He reminds me He is love, and this is enough.

My calling is to retain bold confidence that He is able to keep what I commit to Him. I can trust Him with everything that troubles me. I can count on His salvation whether I see it in its full glory yet or not. And best of all I can rejoice in the Lord.

If you, O LORD, should mark iniquities, O Lord, who could stand?
But with you there is forgiveness, that you may be feared.
I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I hope;
my soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning…
O Israel, hope in the LORD!
For with the LORD there is steadfast love,
and with him is plentiful redemption. Ps.130:3-7

“Let the beloved of the LORD rest secure in him, for he shields him all day long, and the one the LORD loves rests between his shoulders.” Deut.33:12

How long shall I take counsel in my soul, having sorrow in my heart daily? How long shall mine enemy be exalted over me? Consider and hear me, O LORD my God: lighten mine eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death; Lest mine enemy say, I have prevailed against him,…But I have trusted in thy mercy; my heart shall rejoice in thy salvation. I will sing unto the LORD, because he hath dealt bountifully with me. Ps.13:2-6

–LS

Can I whet your appetite for Paul Miller’s book? Here are some quotes that speak to me…

“Anxiety wants to be God but lacks God’s wisdom, power, or knowledge. A godlike stance without godlike character and ability is pure tension.” (70)

“The great struggle of my life is not trying to discern God’s will,
it is trying to discern and then disown my own.” (157)

“Until you are convinced that you can’t change your child’s heart, you will not take prayer seriously.” (167)

“I often find that when God doesn’t answer a prayer, he wants to expose something in me. Our prayers don’t exist in a world of their own. We are in dialogue with a personal, divine Spirit who wants to shape us as much as he wants to hear us. For God to act unthinkingly with our prayers would be paganism, which says the gods do our will in response to our prayers.” (168)

For more, check out the full review with quotes here.

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*Miller, Paul E.  A Praying Life: Connecting with God in a Distracting World.
NavPress, 2009, 279pp.

Upcycled from “Postponing Joy”, July 7, 2012

He is my shield

TODAY

He is the Rock; his work is perfect.  Everything he does is just and fair. He is a faithful God who does no wrong;  How just and upright he is! —And blessed is the one who is not offended by me.

In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one.—To you, O LORD, I lift up my soul.  O my God, in you I trust; let me not be put to shame; let not my enemies exult over me.—And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil.—No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

He is my shield, the strength of my salvation, and my stronghold… I will call on the LORD, who is worthy of praise, for he saves me from my enemies.—“Do not be afraid, Abram. I am your shield, your exceedingly great reward.”—My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever…. But for me it is good to be near God; I have made the Lord GOD my refuge, that I may tell of all your works.

Deut.32:4 NLT; Mt. 11:6 ESV; Eph.6:16 ESV; Ps. 25:1-2 ESV; Mt.6:13 ESV;  I Cor.10:13 ESV; Ps.18:2 NLT; Gen.15:1 NKJV; Ps. 73:26, 28 ESV

God’s ways are perfect, always just and fair, never wrong. But oh how easy it is to take offense at them, especially if I was hoping that my commitment to His ways would guarantee me a life free of crises. Alas, bad things happen to faithful servants. That’s when the darts fly, flaming darts insinuating that perhaps God is not to be trusted.  Is He really just and good?  Why then do His servants suffer so?  Why must a quadriplegic also suffer pain, and even cancer?  That seems so unfair, so unkind. Why must a dedicated missionary friend get a brain tumor? And another develop a life-threatening heart condition?

And if these faithful servants are not exempt how can I be certain I will not face things as bad or worse? What does it mean that God is my protection, my Rock, my Refuge if I am not actually guaranteed protection from danger and disease, from injury and cancer, from lifelong struggle in this body?

The short but hard-won answer is found in Asaph’s words in Psalm 73. I paraphrase: God is with us–He Himself is our portion forever.  It is good to be near God. What else matters?

 I’m pondering these things as I confront my own fears and false confidences.  My flesh and my heart may indeed fail me, but God will not.  To Him I lift up my soul.

–LS

She has done what she could

TODAY

And while he was at Bethany in the house of Simon the leper, as he was reclining at table, a woman came with an alabaster flask of ointment of pure nard, very costly, and she broke the flask and poured it over his head…And some scolded her. But Jesus said, “Leave her alone. Why do you trouble her? She has done a beautiful thing to me. She has done what she could; she has anointed my body beforehand for burial.”—

“I tell you the truth,” Jesus said, “this poor widow… poor as she is, has given everything she has.”—For if the willingness is there, the gift is acceptable according to what one has, not according to what one does not have.—’Yes,’ the king replied, ‘and to those who use well what they are given, even more will be given. But from those who do nothing, even what little they have will be taken away.’

Then the LORD asked him, “What is that in your hand?”
“A shepherd’s staff,” Moses replied.

And he said, “Throw it on the ground.” So he threw it on the ground, and it became a serpent, and Moses ran from it.  But the LORD said to Moses, “Put out your hand and catch it by the tail”–so he put out his hand and caught it, and it became a staff in his hand… Again, the LORD said to him, “Put your hand inside your cloak.” And he put his hand inside his cloak, and when he took it out, behold, his hand was leprous like snow.  Then God said, “Put your hand back inside your cloak.” So he put his hand back inside his cloak, and when he took it out, behold, it was restored like the rest of his flesh.

But Moses pleaded with the LORD, “O Lord, I’m not very good with words. I never have been, and I’m not now, even though you have spoken to me. I get tongue-tied, and my words get tangled.” Then the LORD asked Moses, “Who makes a person’s mouth? Who decides whether people speak or do not speak, hear or do not hear, see or do not see? Is it not I, the LORD? Now go! I will be with you as you speak, and I will instruct you in what to say…and be sure to take your shepherd’s staff along!“

…speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love—the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable—Moreover, it is required of stewards that they be found faithful. …It is the Lord who judges me… [the Lord] will bring to light the things now hidden in darkness and will disclose the purposes of the heart. Then each one will receive his commendation from God—But my life is worth nothing to me unless I use it for finishing the work assigned me by the Lord Jesus–the work of telling others the Good News about the wonderful grace of God.

His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’

Mk.14:3,5-6, 8 ESV; Lk. 21:3-4 NLT; II Cor.8:12; Lk. 19:26 NLT; Ex. 4:2-4,6-7,10-12,17 NLT; Eph 4:15-16 ESV; I Cor. 12:22 ESV; I Cor. 4:2-5 ESV; Acts 20:24 NLT; Mt. 25:21 ESV

What is a woman to do?  She could not stop the religious leaders from plotting to kill the One she loved.  It wouldn’t be long now. Tensions were mounting.  Nothing she could say would make a difference.  But she could worship still.  She could declare how highly she valued  this One who had come to demonstrate the heart of God for sinful people…So she did a beautiful thing and I imagine the scent of that pure nard accompanied Jesus through the scourging and thorns and mockery.  Did the aroma remind him of the joy set before Him in bringing many sons to glory? Did it remind Him that some had believed? Some had loved…She had done what she could, and it was a  beautiful thing to Jesus.

The poor widow’s mite dropped in the temple treasury wouldn’t pay for much temple maintenance but in God’s sight it came from a heart of gold and was worth recording for all the ages to come.

Moses’ indignation wasn’t sufficient to rescue his people from Egypt, but when God had his attention, a shepherd’s staff and a willing mouth were enough…

What is a woman to do? I cannot single-handedly halt the course of evil in the world, but I can pour out what I have–my time, my talents, my passions, and my very personality–in worship.  What is in your hand?  That is enough when yielded to God’s direction.

Speak, O Lord, and fulfill in us
All Your purposes for Your glory.

–Keith & Kristyn Getty

[If you are viewing this post by email you will need to click through to my blogsite to listen to this beautiful song. This can be done by clicking on the post title or by using this link: /2017/07/29/she-has-done-what-she-could/]

–LS

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. Rom.12:21 ESV

Things we Know

TODAY

We know that we are from God, and the whole world lies in the power of the evil one—For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places—No weapon formed against you shall prosper, And every tongue which rises against you in judgment You shall condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD,  and their righteousness is from Me, says the LORD.

…having the eyes of your hearts enlightened, that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe, according to the working of his great might…—I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.—

Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me. You prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies. You honor me by anointing my head with oil. My cup overflows with blessings. Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will live in the house of the LORD forever—What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?

I Jn. 5:19 ESV; Eph 6:12 KJV; Is. 54:17 NKJV; Eph. 1:18-19 ESV; Jn. 16:33 NLT; Ps. 23:4-6 NLT; Rom 8:31 NKJV

Some mornings songs sprout in my head and sing there unbidden, over and over–today this:

Whom shall I fear?  The God of angel armies is always by my side. 

[If the video doesn’t appear please click through to the original post at my blogsite: /2017/07/26/things-we-know/]

How fitting that Hezekiah’s story should be in the queue for my morning reading!  He has been a good king.  Under his reign the long-neglected temple has been re-opened.  Passover has been celebrated with exuberant joy.  The people have responded to his reforms with enthusiasm, destroying their pagan altars and giving generously to the service of the Temple.  But in the wake of all this faithfulness comes dread news, my morning’s reading–the powerful king of Assyria is on the march. He has invaded Judah and is headed for Jerusalem.

After making strategic preparations– repairing and doubling the walls, amassing weapons, stopping up the springs outside the city and appointing military leaders– Hezekiah calls the people together and encourages them with these words:

“Be strong and courageous! Don’t be afraid of the king of Assyria or his mighty army, for there is a power far greater on our side!  He may have a great army, but they are just men.  We have the LORD our God to help us and to fight our battles for us!” (II Chron.32:7,8)

Centuries later Paul will echo these words in addressing the believers in Rome:

‘If God be for us, who can be against us?!’

It is good to be reminded of these things. I’ve been acutely aware lately that I live in a world that does not share my values. It dismisses the One I most treasure, delights in what He abhors, and exalts self as god instead. I am a misfit. I easily succumb to feeling like a feeble voiceless nobody surrounded by a vocal and  daunting foe.  My conversation has not been with flesh and blood, though I’m prone to eavesdrop, but with books. Whether in my work among the library stacks or with thrift store donations the vast majority of books that surround me (and people who resort to them for advice) represent worldviews that directly conflict with my own.  Buddhism, Eastern meditation, Psychic healing, Dark ‘thrillers’, Self-as-God counsel, and perhaps the most hazardous of all, a growing number of  beautifully bound ‘angels of light’ that pose as compatible with Christianity and offer soothing peaceful advice that is Luciferan at its core.  I find it overwhelming somedays.  How is my little light to make any difference in such a climate?  I feel cowed and helpless, mute.

My Shepherd reads my mind, knows my heart and sends His Word to reassure.  On Sunday a sister in Christ stood and read from I John:

We know that we are from God, and the whole world lies in the power of the evil one. And we know that the Son of God has come and has given us understanding, so that we may know him who is true; and we are in him who is true, in his Son Jesus Christ. He is the true God and eternal life.

(I Jn. 5:19-20 ESV)

She read the words haltingly, her handwriting so tiny, her reading glasses absent, but the rendering could not detract from the powerful reality of God’s truth heard again.  We know…the power of evil is real but we are in Him who is true, in Him who has given us understanding and eternal life… This passage has spurred me on to consider things I know to be true–

  • In this world we will have trouble BUT God’s goodness and mercy will always pursue…
  • In this world we will have formidable enemies BUT God is able to spread a feast for us in their presence…They will not have the last word.  Truth will prevail.

So I am encouraged to press on to know the truth, to be set free by it and to proceed undaunted in fulfilling my calling in this world, led by the One who is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. 

–LS

But recall the former days when, after you were enlightened, you endured a hard struggle with sufferings, … For you had compassion on those in prison, and you joyfully accepted the plundering of your property, since you knew that you yourselves had a better possession and an abiding one. Therefore do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised. Heb 10:32, 34-36 ESV

 

This way to JOY!

TODAY

Build an altar there to the LORD your God…sacrifice peace offerings on it also, and feast there with great joy before the LORD your God.—God’s hand was on the people…giving them a strong desire to unite in obeying the orders of the king and his officials, who were following the word of the LORD…So for seven days the celebration continued.  Peace offerings were sacrificed, and the people confessed their sins to the LORD, the God of their ancestors…then decided to continue the festival another seven days, so they celebrated joyfully for another week…The entire assembly of Judah rejoiced…There was great joy in the city!—For when the LORD restores His people, Jacob will shout with joy, and Israel will rejoice.

The life of the godly is full of light and joy!

Yes! turn to our God, for he will abundantly pardon…“My thoughts are completely different from yours,” says the LORD.  “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine….I send [my Word] out and it always produces fruit.  It will accomplish all I want it to, and it will prosper everywhere I send it.  You will live in joy and peace….”—When you obey me, you remain in my love, just as I obey my Father and remain in his love.  I have told you this so that you will be filled with my joy.  Yes, your joy will overflow!

Glory ye in his holy name: let the heart of them rejoice that seek the LORD.  Seek the LORD and his strength, seek his face continually.—Rejoice always,  pray without ceasing.—But let all those that put their trust in thee rejoice: let them ever shout for joy, because thou defendest them: let them also that love thy name be joyful in thee.

Deut.27:7 NLT; II Chr. 30:12,22-26 NLT; Ps. 14:7 NLT; Pr. 13:9 NLT; Is. 55: 7,8,11,12 NLT; Jn.15:10-11 NLT; I Chr.16:10-11 KJV; I Thess.5:16-17 ESV; Ps.5:11 KJV

None of us sets off to find misery but it is the inevitable consequence of following our own hearts and ignoring God’s.  Meanwhile the way to Joy stands open. Wisdom calls. God woos.  A way is made in the wilderness… Repent and believe!  Follow Me and know Joy!

I made my way this morning from Old to New Testaments reading one chapter in each of the genres along the way.  JOY was the common thread winding through them.  There is great JOY in being right with God.  It seems we were designed for the JOY of fellowship with our Creator.

Not surprisingly, one of the biggest lies at large in the world is that if there is a God, He is a curmudgeonly somebody that means to make you miserable and you’d best think for yourself and choose your own way.  Generations have proven the results of this bad advice that first popped up in the Garden with the insinuation:  “Hath God said, ye shall not…” 

But the record stands… God is merciful and gracious.  He will abundantly pardon.  His Word marks the way to transcendent joy.  It’s a path our hearts won’t find without Him.

–LS

You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

Ps.16:11 ESV